A good visit!

Yesterday my sister-in-law Michelle picked the boys and I up early in the morning. After dropping the boys at Brad's parents house, we headed down the road to meet with my oncologist at Johns Hopkins. I had anticipated getting orders for follow up scans and a perscription for a new Chemotheraphy drug which I had already researched. As we chatted, I told her I was trying to time the start of the drug which listed several typical chemo side effects. I was starting to dread the nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, bone pain, muscle pain, tiredness, and overall feeling of yuck. I had also read that the drug interacted with blood thinners like Coumadin (which I am still taking) and knew close monitoring was going to needed. Translation: increased blood draws.

We zipped right into Baltimore, chatting the entire way. We didn't spend much time in the waiting area before my doctor was ready for us and she had a slight change of plans for me! Since my cancer returned in 2008, I have had success on estrogen blocking agents instead of harsh chemo. Each drug works for a period of time and then we switch. This has allowed me to spend the last two years going about the normal tasks of living and loving the simple things like working and playing and enjoying the kids!

Turns out there is a drug that has been used for some time with little success, but a new study changed the dosing of the drug and it has been so successful that the FDA has now changed the old dosing to that of the study. The benefits to trying the drug are many. First, the side effects are like those of the others I have taken: hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings. Secondly, the drug does not have the severe interaction with Coumadin and I will be on the Coumadin for at least six months. Finally, this drug does not slow the healing process like a chemo drug does, thus allowing my pelvis to contine healing.

According to my doctor, the study has shown positive results for 10-12 months in halting and/or reversing the progression of the disease, but since it is all so new, they are unsure of any longer term results. I am always hesitant when switching drugs. I just pray that it works. I realize that eventually I am headed toward chemo and then I will run through those drugs. However, if I can have a chance at returning to my life as normal as possible, I am going to jump up and run with it! If they can find a drug that works that doesn't include side effects a mile long that will make me feel so sick, I'm going to try it out!

So, I got my first dose yesterday. Two shots. One in each butt muscle with a needle that I was glad I didn't see until she was done! LOL! I will return in two weeks for another dose, then again in two weeks for another dose. Then it becomes a monthly process. I have to schedule some repeat scans and they will keep a close eye on me throughout the next couple of months.

I should probably be hesitant because I do realize what I am dealing with. However, I feel so good! I am not on any pain meds, my kids are healthy, I can move around with my cane, and everything seems to be looking up! I'm really looking forward to Friday when my brothers and their families will be here to celebrate Christmas! AND, after 31 years, my dad's last day of work is today! There just seem to be so many things to celebrate that I can't help but be happy!

Happy New Years!!

Merry Christmas!!!

I didn't realize that it had been so long since I posted an update. I finished the radiation on my pelvis and got strict instructions to continue rest. So, I have still been sitting a lot. However, I have been using my cane around the house which gives me better mobility thus making me feel better mentally. My left leg is still really swollen so we have been trying to elevate it as much as possible and it seems to have loosened up a little. We have also spent the last two weeks preparing for Christmas, making cookies and gingerbread trains, looking at Christmas lights, watching Christmas movies, going to Christmas programs, and counting the weeks with our Advent wreath!!

The last two weeks have also been marked with some sadness as we have three groups of friends who are close to us who are experiencing loss. We pray for them daily and hope that they will experience peace this Christmas season. They are all such strong families and we admire their faith and strength.

As the excitement for tomorrow morning mounts for the boys, I can't help but think about how many things we have to be thankful for this Christmas. I have been thinking about this brain tumor that they removed in November. It was big. I could have been driving the kids to school one day and had a massive seizure, but they found it before something terrible like that happened. And the blood clot, well that could have ended badly as well. But it didn't.

I am also thankful and humbled by the all the people who have helped get us through the past two months. I feel so unworthy of the outpouring of support that we have received. Just when we think ends won't meet, or the tank is on empty, or what we are going to have for dinner; our needs are met. My in-laws who get up extra early to pick up the boys and get them to school and shuttle them around, entertain them, feed them dinner when Brad is running late, and send food. My dad who takes the kids to movies, shuttles us around, even taking us to look at Christmas lights. People who come and visit and play with the kids to break up their day. Jan, who came and helped me bake Christmas cookies with the kids. Aly who (yes this is the test of a true friend) shaved my legs because I can't bend to do it. Jackie who cuts our hair so we don't have to drag everyone out in the cold. All the emails and text messages, just to check on us to make sure we have what we need.

I knew I worked with a group of very special people at parks & recreation. Over the years, we have all become close and throughout the past two months they have brought me lunch and taken turns checking on me during the day when I was home alone, brought dinners, came to see me in the hospital, randomly checked in on me to make sure we had what we needed, helped with rides, and sent cards. I felt so bad the day that I went into work because they had worked so hard to rearrange my office to accommodate the wheelchair and had it so clean. They were all so excited, and then I ended up in the hospital with the blood clot. Leave it to me to ruin the fun!

But, their biggest surprise of all came yesterday when Aly showed up with a huge basket of treats and a gigantic bag full of Christmas presents for the boys. You see, they all wanted the kids to have the most magical Christmas this year and I was so shocked I was up most of the night trying to figure out how in the world I could ever thank them. Some of the presents are wrapped, so even I will be surprised tomorrow morning when the gifts get open! I know that everyone that works at Parks & Recreation has gone through rough patches in their lives and I know that they all have families of their own to take care of. I feel blessed and humbled that they would do something like this for us.

So, this Christmas I am thankful to be sharing this time with my family and I am thankful that we have so many friends and family who have already taught us the meaning of Christmas.

A long week

Well, I knew going into this week that it would be a long one. And it didn't disappoint. It began on Monday with a trip to Hopkins first thing for a rather long first radiation. Then Scott drove me back to Martinsburg for hip radiation and bloodwork to check my Coumidin levels. Then a stop by the pharmacy to fill a perscription for a low dose of steriods. It was a long day and I remember telling Brad that I wasn't sure I could do the radiation at Hopkins.

For brain radiation, they make a mask of your head and upper shoulders. It is a mesh-like white thing that starts as warm plastic and makes a hard cast mold. The purpose is to keep you exactly still in the same spot each time. But, when they strap you on the table with it so tight that you can barely breathe, it is a feeling like none other. Then they had me cross my arms and put a bar across them so they wouldn't move either. That first day I lay there like that for about 45 minutes while they took several CT scans and made sure everything lined up exactly perfect so the fields of radiation were positioned. I really didn't think I could do it for two more days. But, guess what? I did. And I didn't require any sedation. And I have a real sense of accomplishment from seeing that phase of this battle through. Although, I was a little surprised to hear that the fatigue from these three sessions would last 'about a month.'

Thanks to my sister-in-law, Michelle and my dad for taking me on Tuesday and Wednesday. I figured out how to take some pretty good naps in the car on the way down and back. To say the least I am happy to have that part out of the way! Thanks to my friend Jan and her son, Josh, who happens to be my dentist. I am armed with all the things I need to combat the dry mouth and keep my teeth and gums clean! I also appreciate all the food and 'extras' that she brought out to me! Brittany and Jan took me to radiation here in Martinsburg which rounded out my week.

This afternoon Brad took me to my general practictioner to follow up on the blood clot. I will remain on coumidin and will get blood work done to check the level periodically. He said it will take more time for the swelling to go down in my leg, but I'm getting pretty good at sitting with it elevated!

I really appreciate all the food that has been brought out this week! We have enough food to get us through another week! I really don't know what we would do without so many people taking care of us. It is truly a blessing!

For the most part, when I'm not going to doctors appointments, I am sleeping. I did have some nausea last weekend, but that was quickly fixed with some anti-nausea meds and I am able to eat again. So I would say that although it has been a long week, I think it has been a good week. I have five more radiation treatments on my pelvis next week and one blood draw. That is going to give me plenty of time to get well rested and get ready for school Christmas programs and get on top of some paperwork around here. All and all I am feeling really good! I think I am going to give my body some rest and try to focus on Christmas and making it super special for the boys this year!

Back down the road we go!

First, I have to apologize for the typos in the previous post. I was trying to type it quickly when the discharge nurse came in with my orders. I didn't get a chance to read it over before publishing it!

I have spent most of the weekend resting. My leg is still pretty swollen so I've had it propped up and we have gone to the hospital daily for bloodwork. I started getting some bouts of nausea yesterday and last night they would wake me up. Because of the timing, I can assume this is a side effect of the pelvis radiation. So I called the oncologist on call at the hospital who hooked me up with a perscription for anti-nausea meds. I feel much better now. I was able to eat lunch and I think the ride to Hopkins will be much more pleasant tomorrow.

Scott is going to drive me tomorrow and we have to leave around 6:30am to get to Hopkins for my 9am radiation. Then we will come back to Martinsburg in hopes that we can hit an afternoon time for pelvis radiation. I also need to get bloodwork at the hospital. For me, this is a pretty full day and I will do this three days in a row. Please don't worry about me if there aren't any posts this week as I will be tired from the radiation on top of all the driving and appointments.

Thanks to everyone who brought me food and kept me company at the hospital! It is good to be home with the boys as we countdown to Christmas!!

Some surprises are good!

Yesterday, my doctor surprised me by suggesting I have a filter inserted that would in essense catch any clot that was formed in my legs or pelvis before it reached my lungs. After a little discussion, I decided it was a good idea and he said that it would be planned for today. He surprised me again when he said they could probably just do it 'in a few hours.' It was a very interesting procedure and was over in about an hour. I had to lay flat for about four hours afterwards. Poor dad was here for a visit and ended up staying through the procedure and feeding me dinner.

Today when I was coming back from radiation today I ran into my doctor in the elevator. We talked for a few minutes and I came back to my room and went about my sitting. My friend Jaimee brought me lunch and we visited for a while and then I settled down for a little nap! I had just closed my eyes when I heard footsteps. It was my doctor and this time he said that he had been thinking and with the screen in place, he felt comfortable taking me off the heparin. So he made me promise a few things: I will take the Coumadin in the evening and come to the hospital Saturday and Sunday morning for bloodwork. (I will do bloodwork each day for a week); I will rest and relax; and if I have a fever, headache, or chest pain I will "get my ass back in here" then I can go home.

My great friend, Aly, is going to bring the wheelchair from work and pick me up!

Goodbye November!

I think it is fair to say that this November has not been my favorite month ever. As a matter of fact, it is pretty close to my LEAST favorite month ever. The last day of November proved true to the rest of my month and it is going out with a bang!

Today was supposed to be my day back to work. Aly had figured out how to arrange my office furniture so my wheelchair would fit and the maintenance guys had come and moved it all around. All the girls had cleaned and vacuumed so when I got there today I was so excited to wheel right into an office that was not only wheelchair friendly, but also very clean. It felt so good to sit at my desk again! When ten o'clock rolled around Lisa loaded me up and we headed to radiation. Then, what started as a quick radiation session turned into a marathon event.

I have noticed some swelling in my leg so I asked to see the doctor after radiation. My doctor is out of town, but they had a doctor covering so I showed her the swelling. She called my family doctor and he ordered an ultrasound. After the ultrasound I was admitted to the hospital with a bloodclot. The doctors called my neurosurgeon at Hopkins and agreed that a head CT was needed to make sure that there wasn't any bleeding in my brain. When it turned up clear, the doctors started a Heparin drip and tomorrow I will start on an oral blood thinner. Tomorrow evening I will have another head CT to make sure there is still no bleeding. When the blood thinner levels are where the doctor want them to be, they will release me. This could take one to several days.

I guess the good news is that I am in WVU Hospital East (City Hospital) in Martinsburg and Brad brought the boys to see me tonight. Since I have had five surgeries in the past seven years and have spent my fair share of time in the hospital, I have always been able to prepare them for my overnight stays. This was a surprise so I was glad they could come and see that I was OK. Ian was eager to point out all the neat things you will find in a hospital room while I noticed tears in Trent's eyes several times. And that is really really hard.

Another good part of being here is that I can see the building where I get radiation out my window and tomorrow they will transport me down the road for my pelvis radiation. So, I won't miss any radiation days!

So, if you ever had one of those days that didn't quite turn out the way you expected, you know how I feel tonight. I'm going to shut this laptop down and get some rest. Tomorrow is a new day, a new month even and I am going to say a prayer that December is a good one!

Christmas Trees

I really like live Christmas trees. When I was in high school, our family started going to a local tree farm that made the Christmas tree experience seem magical. There were wagons pulled by horses that took us out into acres and acres of trees. As we were riding the driver would describe the kinds of trees available in each section and we would pick the field where we wanted dropped off. We would walk through what seemed like endless rows of trees trying to find the perfect one. I always felt we were on the hunt for the biggest tree we could find that would fit from floor to ceiling. Each year we alternated the person who made the final decision and, once that decision was made, one of the boys would crawl under the tree with the saw. We would drag it to the dirt trail where it would be bound and loaded on the wagon with us. The children who lived on the farm always put on a live nativity that the wagon passed on the way back to the barn where hot chocolate and cookies waited. Then dad paid for the tree and we headed home for Eggnog, Christmas music, and decorating. It made for some great family memories.

The first year Christmas in our house, we found that tree farm from my childhood only to discover that it had closed. Luckily we live way out in the country and on the way home we followed some signs to another tree farm. The owner was so kind and explained that he had lost a lot of his larger trees to disease. He was so nice that we couldn't leave without a tree so we found a small one and headed home. I have to admit that we were a little disappointed that it was so small and only held about half our ornaments, but it served its purpose.

The following year we found another tree farm nearby. Trent was two and he trudged through the snow with us. As we were walking he started giving me a funny look and when I looked down he was missing a boot. So, back we went in search of the missing boot. We eventually found both the boot and a tree. We paid the gentleman for the tree then started loading the truck when we realized that Trent had had a blowout of magnitude proportions. He was wearing a snow suit. You can use your imagination to fill in the blanks on that one. It wasn't until we got this tree home that we realized that the trunk was somehow twisted into a right angle. Even with our super duper deluxe tree stand, it never stood quite right.

The next year Brad was determined to set things straight. He went to Lowes and searched through the trees for one with a straight trunk and good shape. The tree he picked was perfect and stood tall from the stand to the ceiling. Trent was three and I was eight months pregnant with Ian. We decorated the tree and it was absolutely beautiful. And it never drank a drop of water. By the week before Christmas I was afraid to turn the lights on and by Christmas day the tree was brown. It is the first time in my life that I undecorated a tree the day after Christmas. Also on the day after Christmas, Brad returned to Lowes and bought a 7 foot, pre-lit Christmas tree.

Every year when we set up our tree we laugh about our quest for a live tree. To be honest, I was getting tired of the red prickly rash on my hands for a week after putting the lights on anyway. There are a lot of good air scents on the market today that make the house smell just as good!

Yesterday Brad brought the box up and put the tree together. I sat and unwrapped ornaments while the boys excitedly waited for familiar ones to appear. They were so excited to decorate the tree. They have even added a few army men so it looks like Andy's tree in Toy Story! Last year Santa brought Trent a Lego Train which surrounds the bottom along with the Fisher Price Manger. As I sit here looking at it I think we have finally achieved the perfect tree!