Today I feel....

blessed.


Life is full of 'those' moments. You know, the ones that make you feel like you are on the edge of a cliff, about to embark on something new. There are the good ones, the sad ones, the exciting ones, those that are terrifying, and the ones that you know will change your life forever. I have had a lot of those moments. I guess we all do.


Last Thursday I had one of those moments and it was terrifying. So quickly I was in pain and worse than the pain was the fear. I was so fearful that something neuorolgically had gone so wrong so sudden and I was afraid that I was having one of those moments that would change things forever.


I feel so blessed that I work with a group of girls who know when to spring into action, and when to give me some space. I feel blessed that I have a sister-in-law who is so smart. I thank God for Aly who for some reason gets into these messes with me! I am thankful for a family who can implement 'plan b' at any moment of any day. I feel blessed because the staff at the hospital was so accommodating and worked with my doctors at Hopkins. My Doctor K was on his cell phone with me in the ER at 7pm so we could set up an 8am appointment the next day to begin a solution. And I feel blessed for my poor frazzled husband who has deal with a wife on pain medication AND steriods!


My dad and I went to Hopkins today for my regularly scheduled appointment. As you know, I have to go every three weeks to see my doctor during my 'off week' from the chemo pill. Thanks to the wonderful organization of the hospital in Martinsburg, when we arrived she already had my CT scans from my ER visit as well as my bloodwork in her computer system. And guess what? My CEA tumor marker was 12.6. Yes, that is right. I don't ever remember getting a lower score. There were no noticable changes on the CT. Nothing noteworthy. As I wrote in the last post, there may have been a slight change in the position of the lesion that just caught that nerve. It turns out any little abrasion on a nerve like that will cause pain and it will go away when the radiation has done its job on that little spot.


So, I am a little sore. I will have to work down from the steriod in the next week or so. I have to remember to take it easy as the steriod gives me energy and I want to keep moving. I will continue the chemo, and I will finish up radiation next Friday. And things are good. Very good.


Today I just feel super blessed and humbled and happy to have another day! Today I plan to enjoy every breath! Today I am going to remember to focus on what is important because as we all know, one of 'those' moments can be right around the corner.