I'm going to start this post by thanking the best nursing staff I have ever had the pleasure of working with. My stay last week at Johns Hopkins was very unexpected and I was very scared. The doctors were great, but I cannot say enough about every single nurse that took care of me in the Weinberg Center. They are the greatest. I hope some of them are reading my blog so that they can pass the word about how much I appreciated their kindnesses!
I can't go much further without thanking my dad for dropping everything to take care of me. This is a very different kind of recovery because I find myself pretty lost without Brad. He was good at guiding me through this part. Dad has been a huge help at bridging that gap. Plus I am still not driving or staying at the house by myself. I remember promising my mom that I would take care of my dad when she died. I haven't been very good at holding up my end of the deal. I don't know what would have happened if Glen and Cindy hadn't come in to take the boys and Casey to their house. I had no worries about their care! Don, Jackie, Scott, and Michelle came for visits, bringing the boys when they could. It is kind of sad to realize that we don't sit down and talk one-on-one. I really enjoyed having time with them and getting to know each of them better!
I do have to admit, though, that I was happy to get home. I was so glad that I was able to make it to the Saylor Family Fun Night. It is hard to describe the feeling you have when you walk into a huge building like that and realize that all the activities and raffle prizes, all the food and activities, all the people and kids running around, they are all there because they love our family. There were friends from Wesleyan, friends from high school, aunts, uncles, cousins, co-workers, board members, teachers, friends from church, people who worked with Glen, people who worked with Brad, people who worked with dad, friends of the boys, and people I had never met. I would like to thank my boss, Steve and my friends in the office for all their hard work.
I have always thought that it was a shame that so many people gather at a funeral to celebrate the life of a person they love. I always say a prayer that they can see how many people come to pay their respects. I feel like this was our chance to celebrate our lives WITH friends and family. I really wish Brad could have been there, and I know, in a way, he was.
We are adjusting to a new 'normal' right now. I do have a blood clot in my left leg. I am taking shots to keep my blood thin and the clot should dissolve with rest. The pericardial window will keep the fluid from building up around my heart again. The fluid goes into my chest so their is a chest tube there that dad drains (daily this week, then as needed.) I will be going to Hopkins on Tuesday for a quick inpatient surgery to put in a port line. I will also see my oncologist to find out what kind of chemotherapy I will be changing to, the frequency, side effects, etc. The port line will save me from some of the arm 'sticks' that are common with chemo. I'm playing 'catch up' with all the estate paperwork and even went to work today to take minutes for the Board Meeting. I am taking tomorrow off as I feel like my body just needs a day of rest!
I cannot believe that Thanksgiving is next week! I am dreading the holidays without Brad, but do realize that I have a lot to be thankful for this year. The last couple of years have been tough ones, but when I look back on my life I see it as a very happy one. I have always felt loved. Not very many people can say that.
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