Selfless Giving

This past year has been, among other things, a huge learning experience for me. I'm sure you can imagine what I am talking about. I could spread things out and make an entire four-year college curriculum from the things life has taught me this year. But I think I learned the biggest lesson last night.

This fall and winter we have been helped by so many people. On the top of my list is always my dad and my in-laws who I couldn't live without. There are also friends and family who have taken care of mowing, cleaning, working in the yard, and helping with the kids. I haven't had to worry about where are meals are going to come from. It seems that food just appears out of no where. There is my best friend, Aly, who visits me and is always there for me to bounce ideas off of...never judging...always being the best friend a girl can have! A group of Brad's terrific friends who spent an entire Saturday working on unfinished parts of the basement and got it looking great! We had friends take us to The Lion King Broadway production (something I have always wanted to see). We have had total strangers fix the car, assessors give us values, dry clean our coats; without accepting payment. And I can't forget about the Saylor Family Fun Night that my co-workers and friends worked so hard to put together.

I guess pride makes it hard for me to accept these acts of kindnesses without being embarassed. Brad and I were always proud that we could go it alone, make things work, and get through anything. But someone once told me, "Toni, when you give to someone else, it gives you joy. So don't steal that joy from someone else. Be gracious and don't steal their joy."

A few weeks ago I started getting emails from a woman at our church. We are members of a large Catholic church and I hate to say it, but I don't know all our church family members by name, but I never forget a face. So, when she friended me on facebook, I knew who she was, but we didn't know each other. She had a group of 'elves' who wanted to help our kids have a memorable Christmas and she needed a little information. Well, what she did with that 'little information' was amazing.

Last night the doorbell rang and 'elves' sprinted back across the yard...trying to keep their identy a secret. The boys went to answer the doorbell and started yelling and bringing in package after package. They were happy to see the note from Santa that said they could open them right then as long as it was OK with me. As they started separating the presents into piles, I looked out the window to see people with candles walking toward the front porch. The 'elves' had picked up some friends and we had the pleasure of listening to about 60 beautiful carolers. There was a guitar and bell choir as well! Standing on the porch looking at them with their candles and santa hats, realizing some of them I knew but others I didn't; I learned one more lesson.

This lesson is called selfless giving to a total stranger. I can't believe someone who doesn't even know me would go through such great lengths to help me make this a memorable Christmas for my kids. They will remember standing there with me long after I am gone. Just like the Saylor Family night, they are going to talk about it all the time. It also made me think that selfless giving is something I do not do nearly enough. Last night I started to ask myself, if the tables were turned, would I have spent so much time during the holiday season trying to help out someone I didn't know to have a Merrier Christmas? I am really embarassed to admit that I am pretty sure the answer would have been 'no'.

I always tried to be generous, but the truth is that I could do more. It has been difficult for me to swallow my pride and be a gracious receiver this year. But, the truth is that I needed you. All of you. This has been hard and I could never have gotten through this fall without the love and support of people I know as well as those that I don't. We have been receiving, but we are in great shape now. It is time for me to give it back, pay it forward, practice what I preach. I would like to thank Marti and her elves for showing me how I too can be creative and help someone who is in need....even someone I don't really know.

To you guys who read my blog, I want to thank you. And I want you to know that we are going to be OK! But, if you would really like to help us this Christmas, look around for another family or another person who is lonely, or missing a loved one, or is sick and help them out on behalf of us. Father Brian always tells us that Christmas is not a day....it is a season. So, we still have plenty of time. I will be trying to teach my boys another memorable lesson this Christmas. Something I forget sometimes....it is truly better to give than receive.